Physical vs. Emotional Feelings
Emotions vs. Sensations
There are two kinds of feelings; physical sensations and emotions.
Sensations are feelings that are stimulated by chemicals or nerves. We’ve all experienced the ghrelin hormone that makes us feel hungry, as well as physical pain when our nerves have sensed when we’ve been burnt or scratched. While sometimes painful, these types of feelings help protect us from physical danger and help us become our healthiest selves.
The other type of feelings are emotions! Emotions come from our THOUGHTS (aka the sentences in our brains). Our emotions are NOT created by our surroundings or circumstances, no matter how great or grim. Our circumstances are neutral until we create thoughts about them. This is excellent news because it means that all of us can feel joy, confidence, and empowerment no matter what our surroundings are.
Some feelings can be both sensations and emotions, like feeling pain, anxious, depressed, or tired. In coaching sessions I’ve had many teenagers tell me that they feel tired and we’ve discussed if it's because their body is physically exhausted or if they’re emotionally tired about something going on in their life.
I want teenagers to know the difference between sensations and emotions so that they can,
Understand their feelings and where they come from
Decide how they want to feel about life instead of being swayed by their experiences
Intentionally create powerful beliefs about themselves
Grow and find joy even in times of physical pain
Both emotions and sensations will help and inform you on your life journey. For example, in order to grow physically stronger you need to accept the feelings of soreness, exhaustion, and pain. In order to grow new friendships you need to be willing to feel uncomfortable. Everything you choose in life will bring positive and negative emotions.
Something cool about emotions is that they can be more powerful than our physical sensations. Even in the middle of a hard workout I can feel joy, or when I fall I can laugh, or even when I’m sick I can feel at peace. We will all experience a variety of physical pain, but our controllable emotions can dictate whether we enjoy our life or not.
Let me give you some examples.
Once, while surfing I dislocated my shoulder underwater. The waves were rolling over my head and I was in a lot of pain, but I cleared my mind so that I would be able to put my shoulder back in place and swim to shore.
Have you ever been in a lot of physical pain but felt calm or peaceful?
Sometimes, we make our physical pains or problems even bigger with our emotional ones. A cute example of this is from last year in Paris when I watched a child trip on some grass. Her fall was very brief and she didn’t cry until she turned around and saw us watching her. Maybe her mind was thinking about how she doesn’t like people watching her make mistakes, or maybe she thought it was unfair that she fell, or maybe she just wanted her mom. She could have laughed or felt peaceful about her little tumble, but she didn’t because of how she was thinking.
I love the current movement to not discard children’s emotions, but sometimes I feel we over exacerbate them. My students need lots of love, but I do not coddle them. I allow my students to be powerful. I constantly cheer them on AND create experiences for them to work hard, fail, and try new things. When their emotions come up we talk about them together. Being an adult isn’t a walk in the park, so I want to help raise gritty, positive, and mature kids. My advice for adults working with children in pain is to look at it like a doctor, who doesn’t add their own personal emotion. If the child is safe, then observe and be curious about their child’s emotions. What is your child believing about themselves and about life? What do they believe about their circumstances?
I hope that I can become more emotionally powerful and resilient. My favorite example of this is my Savior who was filled with so much love that he willingly took on all my pain and paid for my sins. It’s a kind of love I never want to forget and hope to grow.